How to brief a plant sitter so nothing drowns
Most houseplants that die while their owner is away are not neglected; they are loved to death. A well-meaning neighbour sees soil, assumes it needs water and pours a jug into every pot on every visit. Ten days later the Calathea is limp, the Alocasia has dropped two leaves and there is a ring of standing water in the bottom of every decorative cachepot. This sheet exists to stop that. It turns the knowledge in your head — which plant wants what, and when — into instructions that someone who has never kept a Monstera can follow.
Start with the golden rule
The single most useful line on the card is the one we ask every nursery volunteer to learn first: when in doubt, skip watering. An aroid in a chunky bark mix that goes a few days too dry will droop and then recover within hours of a drink. The same plant left sitting in water for a week loses fine roots to rot, and those take a month or more to regrow. Leave the golden-rule box ticked unless you have a very good reason, and talk it through with your sitter when you hand over the key.
Give a cue, not a schedule
"Water every Tuesday" fails because British weather does not keep to a timetable. A grey, cool week halves water use; a sunny spell in a south-facing bay doubles it. Instead, give each plant or group a visible cue. In a clear slotted nursery pot the cue is colour: damp substrate is dark, dry substrate pales from the bottom up, so "water when the lower third looks pale" is unambiguous. In an opaque pot, use the finger test to a stated depth. For semi-hydro setups, give a reservoir mark. For a sealed terrarium, write do not open in capitals.
Group plants by room and behaviour
A sitter will not read thirty rows. Group plants that drink alike: the windowsill Hoya and Rhipsalis that want to dry right out, the humidity cabinet Anthurium that should be left closed, the living-room Alocasia that sulks if it dries completely. Put the exact spot in plain words ("bay window, left, one metre back") so the sitter can find each group without a tour. Four to six groups covers most flats; the sheet takes up to twenty.
Say how much, and with what
Volume matters more than people think. A 12cm pot needs roughly 250–300ml to wet through; a 21cm floor plant needs well over a litre. Name the water, too. In hard-water areas such as London, the South East and much of the Midlands, cold tap water straight onto Calathea leaves brown tips and limescale. If you keep a rainwater butt or a filtered jug, say where it is and leave it full.
Prepare the plants before you go
The best holiday insurance is done a week before you leave. Move plants a metre back from hot south windows and away from radiators. Group humidity lovers together on a tray of damp grit. Check that every plant is in a free-draining pot: a compacted peat compost in a pot without slots holds water for days, which is exactly what a sitter will not see. If a plant has been in tired, dense compost for over a year, a repot into a chunky peat-free mix and a clear pot gives it air at the roots and gives your sitter a pot they can read. Do it at least ten days before you travel so roots settle; our repotting calculator works out the litres.
Use the visit grid
Add the dates your sitter has agreed to call in, one to six of them. The sheet prints a sign-off grid with a box for "checked pots" and another for "emptied cachepots", plus room for notes. It gives the sitter permission to do nothing when nothing is needed, and it tells you on your return exactly what happened while you were away. For trips under a week, most collections need one visit, or none.
Pets and plants
Many popular aroids — Monstera, Philodendron, Alocasia, Epipremnum, Aglaonema — contain calcium oxalate crystals that irritate the mouth if chewed. If cats or dogs share the house, pick the pets option and the printed card adds a reminder to keep those plants out of reach. It is a horticultural note, not veterinary advice: if a pet eats any plant and seems unwell, call a vet.
Coming home to a plant that has struggled? Our root rot recovery guide covers what to do next.